While most discussions over losing one’s virginity carry connotations of teenage girl gossip circles, men need a first time too. And although some guys have an easy time unleashing their primal instincts, this is not the norm. Given the pressure society places on males to be sexual dynamos, the first time having penetrative sex can be an intimidating and confusing experience, especially in Dartmouth’s prominent hook-up culture. But we’re here to tell you that it’s perfectly okay to be a guy still sitting on that V-card, and to help you get rid of it (if you so desire).
First of all, it’s absolutely normal to be somewhat nervous. While extensive nerves may be a sign that you should wait until you are more comfortable, when you know you are ready, the important part is being able to overcome remaining jitters. Aladdin was nervous too when he set out to find the cave of wonders, but he got in, and so can you. Choosing the right partner should help tremendously—I recommend being comfortable and knowing each other well beforehand. It’s also a good idea to discuss your status previously, as your partner will most likely be extra supportive. Masquerading as experienced can only heighten your nerves and detract from the experience.
Once you are alone with your partner and ready to do the deed, your most powerful tool will be your instincts. Just try to relax and do what feels right. It should be a pleasurable experience, not subject to any schedule. Of course, you should have consent and protection beforehand, which should help eliminate distracting thoughts. Foreplay will help too—nothing is more relaxing than a sea of hormones guiding your actions, so make sure to spend enough time just having fun with each other.
Ideally, that would be the end of the article and everyone would be happy, but sometimes it just doesn’t work like that. It’s very common to experience some complications the first time, but as long as you have done the right prep work, your partner should be supportive and willing to help you try again. Communication is the key here. If they are more experienced it may be a good idea to let them assume the active position to relieve some of the pressure. Lube can also help. Small amounts of alcohol may help you relax, but be sure not to impair your judgment or physiology.
So don’t be shy to step back up to the plate, in time you will come to laugh at your hesitations. Just remember to take it slow, be careful, and stop stressing.