A guest writer for the HumpDay Gazette interviewed her own grandparents (both now in their 80’s) for this issue.
When she asked them if they’d both share their thoughts about healthy sexuality for this article, she was amused to hear her grandpa say, “Well, there isn’t much we haven’t seen.” Some excerpts from their candid conversation are below. As you read their responses, try to visualize a couple who still enjoys spending time together after raising seven children and over 60 years of marriage.
On Casual Hook Ups
Q: So, do you have any opinions on what they call hook ups these days, casual sexual relations, would that be something that would have been appealing to either of you at that age?
Grandpa: Well it probably would have been to me! [laughs]
Grandma: Not to me!
Grandpa: But, ah, I don’t think it’s a healthy thing.
Q: And Grandma, you said not for you…
Grandma: No, no, no… I’m satisfied with one, period. [laughs] And, ah, I wasn’t too sure about him for a while. [laughs]
Q: Seems to have worked out okay.
Grandma: Yeah, yeah, I’ll keep him, I won’t throw him back [laughs] But, the casual thing… well. Actually, a lot of stuff is just lucky that you just don’t fall into something, you know. Because a lot of those guys who talk smart and really treated you like a queen were up to no good. And one of them… a person lives your life well, you look back at your life and say I’m lucky I didn’t do something I shouldn’t have done. Especially after you’ve had a few drinks and you’ve been treated like a queen and you think you’re really special and lo and behold, the person that you’re with is just… he wouldn’t think of doing anything wrong, you think, but let me tell you, it doesn’t work that way. My dad always said, the devil walks with a beautiful face. When you think of how things are now… When we were young I wouldn’t call a guy up. No way.
Grandpa: You didn’t have a phone to begin with!
On Parent’s Involvement In Marriage
Grandma: Parents controlled a lot of things back then, and I don’t think that’s good either. It is to a certain extent. I mean, you don’t want them [girls] to marry a tough guy. But apparently a lot of these couples would be a good marriage, but they weren’t allowed because the parents didn’t let them.
Q: Is there any advice you would give to people, young adults, on their sexual health?
Grandma: Always see a gynecologist! That is the number one thing, I really think that’s important. Have a good physical on your sexual organs and all that. Because it can really make such a difference between a “whoopee!” and ‘ohhh… not again’. It really can. I lived with something for a long time before I figured it out. They sent me to a gynecologist and they figured out what was going on all along.
Q: Would [someone being gay] change the way you respond to or feel about that person?
Grandma: Oh no. I don’t see why they make such a big deal about it really. All families have somebody who is, uh, queer? Is that what you call it? But they are nice people for crying out loud!
Q: What would you say if one of your grandsons or great-grandsons introduced you to their boyfriend and said they wanted to live together and be together?
Grandma: I would say, well go spend the rest of your lives together!
Grandpa: It’s their problem!
Grandma: I don’t see anything wrong with that, it’s their decision.
Grandma: My mother always used to say, every pot has a cover. If it’s not the right cover, you better get rid of it and find the right cover… I would never turn any of my family away, simply because they were divorced or being gay or whatever. No, you love them. They’re yours.
How Do You Know When You’ve Found the Right Person
Grandpa: After you go together and talk to each other… that will tell you a lot, if you are being honest. You get a good idea of the other person’s ideas and values. And if they compare to yours, then you’re okay… Or you can [try to] change them, but that doesn’t work very often.
Closing Words on Sex
Grandpa: [Sex] is a wonderful invention.
Grandma: Well God invented it, so he must have said “go to it!” Preserve the human race!