The Humpday Gazette

Fully Exposed

In March 2011 on April 4, 2011 at 4:28 am

It may come as a surprise that the time that I felt most comfortable about my body was when I farted in the shower with my boyfriend. I recognize that the expected reaction would have been running away naked back to my room through the first floor of Mid-Mass. Yet, for some reason, after I let out this fart, the boy just threw back his head and laughed.

There we were. In the shower, under the bright and unforgiving fluorescent lights, and I had just farted and he had just laughed. And not one of those embarrassed, “I can’t believe this girl just farted, this is so awkward” laughs. It was actually funny, so I started laughing too.

It was in this moment that I was the most at peace with my body. I had just done the most embarrassing, least sexy thing possible. I had been imagining erotic soaping and washing (I am not that kinky, so forgive me for being unable to provide a more exciting scenario). But, the point is, I had farted. Farted! With a boy! I fart all the time in my room when I’m alone, but in front of a person I’m trying to impress with my sexual prowess? And naked, no less?

When I look back on it, it does sounds quite horrifying. But in the moment, when we both laughed at the situation, I realized that we had eclipsed the phase where we felt the need to maintain a sexy façade at all times. People fart. Girls poop! I poop! You poop!

In that moment, we had fully accepted each other. It did not matter if one of us did something embarrassing or disgusting. I realized then that it is possible to embrace every aspect of your body and your self. I eat too many fiber bars, so I fart. It’s me, and it’s okay.

This boy and I have since broken up, but I still look back on the farting incident as one of the best moments of our relationship. While I maintain strong feelings about the importance of lacy thongs and leopard print push-up bras, I have learned that at some point these props are no longer necessary. There comes a time where it is okay to be stripped down to your barest, most human self and love that self. And maybe, if you’re lucky, someone else will recognize the beauty of that self as well.


Note: this was not a smelly fart. For those hoping to push the boundaries of acceptable behavior in erotic situations, employ a cutesy, delicate, “girl fart.” Smelly farts are never funny.


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