The Humpday Gazette

Bring the Blitz Back

In 12W on March 10, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I wasn’t supposed to write this piece. I also didn’t think that an article about the “Morning After Blitz” would have a serious tone. I mean, it’s just a measly little blitz. The “morning after blitz” is the blitz you send after you’ve hooked up with someone. Usually it is sent from the initiator, with added pressure on the guy in heterosexual hook-ups. From what I understand, it’s just a common courtesy to say you had a fun time. Apparently, however, it is a “dying art form.” Every ’15 asked said they’ve never received one. Some hadn’t even heard of it. My ’14 guy friends admitted to never sending them because they “didn’t feel it necessary.” But, at Dear Ol’ Dartmouth we love traditions, so we thought we’d bring it back from the ashes.

Now, let me tell you this before I keep going: I have never gotten a morning after blitz, nor have I ever sent one. I don’t hook up with people on Dartmouth’s campus (significant other from home), so I know I may not be the most credible source. But in looking for an author for this column, I’ve developed my own thoughts.

Like I said, I wasn’t supposed to be writing this article. I had many people saying that they would love to write it… and then back out on me, which is fine. My last friend to back out blitzed me: “Hey—I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do the article anymore. It got kind of real when I started to write it.” Finally, the significance of a morning after blitz dawned on me. What if you hooked up with a person and then never spoke about it, never acknowledged the hook-up, or never even talked to that person again? Some people I’ve talked to go out of their way to try to never see their hook-ups again. How is that okay? How is it ever alright to ignore someone you did, in fact, meet and spend time with? Even if you didn’t have “the greatest” experience, I say that the morning after blitz is a necessary component of post-hook-up protocol. I wouldn’t hold someone to this standard post-Tri-Kap dance floor make-out, but if you go back to someone’s room or bring someone to yours, then a morning after blitz is sure as hell called for.

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