The Humpday Gazette

Morning After Lolz

In 12W on March 10, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with the morning after blitz. I’m just saying it’s a pretty hilarious concept. Let’s look at the stock form:

Subject: [Insert first 1-2 words of the sentence]

Body: [Continuation from subject, summing up in 2 sentences that you hope the person got home alright and that you had a good time. If you enjoyed yourself or will be forced to see this person in everyday life, say that you should grab a meal “sometime.” If you actually want to get a meal, offer potential days of the week.]

And you’re done.

The process of sending the blitz is similarly ridiculous. If you don’t know/remember your hook-up buddy’s last name, the combination of blitz directory and Facebook stalking to correctly identify the person who was in your bed last night is comedic gold. Once, one of my friends received a stock morning after blitz from someone she had never met. Apparently, he confused her with a sorority sister whose first name was one letter off. Post-morning after blitz over analysis is one of the wonders of Saturday morning roomie sessions. However, if you’re going to invest your sense of self in these blitzes, you may be in for a future of disappointments. And if you’re sending one – just say what you mean!

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